How are things with you?
Just this morning I was praising fellow blogger, Maureen from Island Fairy for how honest and real her writing used to be. That was one of the reasons I'd read her blog- I can't directly relate to everything in her life (as I am not a mother!) but I enjoyed reading it anyway. It's nice, as humans, to see both sides to others lives- the positive and the tougher times. Too many blogs focus only on the positives and I realised it was a while since I was honest on here too.
Sure, I'm honest in that everything I write is true but this blog has become totally about general life in Malta, rather than MY life in Malta. And maybe it's time to inject a bit of that personal honesty back in, every now and again.
Recent struggles
If I don't talk much, here or on my Instagram, about the struggles of life, it's because I don't have many. And realistically, the ones I do have are, at most, mild annoyances. I'm lucky that life is so good right now, and has been for a while. But reflecting on some of the less amazing days is a great way to properly appreciate just how great things are.
Adjusting to life with a cat
Recently, I introduced you guys to Kinnie and the process of adopting cats in Malta. This little creature has changed my life. I genuinely had a worry before we got her, that once we got her, my boyfriend might love me a little less. He'd have a lot of love for her, and there would be less going around for me. Obviously, I now know that is the most ridiculous thing ever and that our capacity to love simply grows as more people, or animals, enter our lives.
But the first two months with her were hard, on two counts. Firstly, she kept us awake a lot. She cried all the time. She wanted so much attention. When she wasn't meowing at us to wake up, she'd be playing with something noisy in the bedroom, pulling apart cushions or chewing at the wardrobe. We tried shutting her out, but that just resulted in blood curdling screams. She still wakes us up early in the morning most days but for the most part, we get to sleep through the night.
Secondly, I was obsessed with her dying. Whenever we were at home and awake I'd constantly be up looking for her if she wasn't sitting with us. Then I hardly slept, even when she was quiet because I'd wake up wanting to check where she was. Then when I found her, I'd have to wake her up to make sure she was alive as she was so tiny I couldn't see her breathing.
But as she got a bit bigger and I realised that she is safe here and she is smart, I calmed down, bit by bit. I still like to go looking for her when she is hiding under the bed or the sofa, but now it's just because I miss her!
Changing jobs
I work in an industry where it's the norm to jump around from new job to new job every 8 - 12 months, but for me, that's way to stressful. I hate interview processes, I hate starting from scratch, not knowing anyone and building yourself up. For the most part, in Malta, I had two main jobs, one for 3 years then the latest for exactly 4 years. But, in March, I started a new job.
I wasn't really actively looking for anything, although I had started taking a bit more notice of job ads on LinkedIn. Whereas before I'd scroll right by them, now I was clicking on and reading the odd one, but I never applied. Until November. I was contacted by a recruiter who sent me something that seemed right up my ally. I asked what company it was for and it was a small payments company where I knew the founder and right away I knew I was interested. They were looking for something a little more junior (or rather, weren't entirely sure what they were looking for) but once I knew the job was with them, and once they knew I was interested, we both knew we had to make this work!
So I took a risk on a tiny company with a brand new product and left my secure job, where I managed a team of amazing people, for the chance to work at a start up again and help build it into something huge. They took a risk on me, someone they knew, but who was asking for more money and more responsibility than they'd originally thought of giving out. But it's 2 months in now and I am doing my best to make them proud and I am so happy.
The worst part was the 3 month notice period at my old job. It was 3 months where I was SO eager to get started at my new role and start making an impression but where I had to just sit and keep things running there instead. I still worked hard but there was plenty of time to sit and worry.
What if I don't manage to bring in new clients?
What if the product isn't good enough?
What if being alone after having a team for so long is too much hard work?
What if being the only employee in Malta is too lonely?
WHAT IF I SUCK?
The older you get, the more set in your ways you are and the harder any kind of change becomes. But from Day 1 I felt better and I knew that this move was the right choice for me, I'm enjoying every single day and I can't wait for what I am fairly sure I can achieve in the next few months. I really hope that the company feels the same!
Recent positives
As I mentioned, my life is amazing. I have a wonderful boyfriend who treats me better than anyone ever has. He is a real partner- he is with me on everything, rather than against me all the time. He builds me up, he supports me, he is honest and kind and is the funniest person I know. We live in an old, but lovely apartment, that is very well priced, allowing us to spend and save and enjoy our lives. We have a beautiful cat, who is loving and independent, sometimes mean, always funny and has such a unique personality. I love my job, I'm proud of what I do, I believe in what we're selling and I enjoy getting up and getting to it each morning.
Sicily
Over Easter weekend I went to Sicily with some friends and it was the best. Despite living so close, I'd never made it over to Sicily before. It's beautiful! Very similar to Malta in the Mediterranean vibe and in the architecture but with so much more greenery and everything on a larger scale. We ate so well, the food was really good everywhere we went and every street was an Instagrammers dream.
Sony Alpha A6000
I invested in a new camera, which I am absolutely loving. It's an older model and really a beginners mirrorless camera, but it's better than anything I had before and pushing me to try and take better pictures.
Malta has lots of pretty scenes so it's easy enough to get a 'nice' photo but I really need to work on my composition and try spotting things a little more special. Arvid got me some great books on starting out so I'm going to make the time to read them and start putting them into practice.
But really, I want to continue to enjoy taking photos. I don't want to stress over whether something is clever enough or artsy enough. Who gives a shit if some snobby local photographers with their fancy cameras snub you? If I like it and I'm having fun, that's really what matters.
Working on the blog
Then finally, I'm starting to change my mindset around this blog. I had started to get a bit precious about what I posted here. I waited until I thought of something that I could make a super long post about, something I was sure would get me good SEO rankings and ended up posting so rarely and missing out on lots of fun information I can share.
Something like buying good jeans in Malta. It's something that meant so much to me when I discovered the stores, but I didn't think of it as blog worthy. But if it meant something to me, maybe it can help someone else out there too. So I'm going to share a lot more information this year on life in Malta and, if this post goes down well, a few more personal updates as well.
One last thing...
So, if you made it this far, well done and thank you! Whether it's your first time on this site or you've been here before, I'd love to know what you think and what you'd like to see more of. If you have questions about Malta you'd like answered, leave a comment! If you have a particular kind of post you like seeing, tell me below!